Things to Expect Postpartum

Let's talk about postpartum! Things you may or may not know about what to expect after birth.

1. Your birth was beautiful!!

     I think it's safe to say we all have a plan or an idea about how we expect our birth to go. With Maddie, I had it all typed out, printed, posted where the nurses could see and gave a copy to my midwife. Little did I know that my expectations would not ne my reality. I will tell you this though. My induced birth with an epidural with Maddie was beautiful! My natural labor and non medicated birth with Harper, was beautiful. C sections are beautiful. The moment you bring that little bundle of joy into this world is a beautiful moment regardless of how he/she was brought into it. If your birth doesn't go as expected, it is still beautiful.

2. YOU are beautiful.

    Yes, you, with your postpartum belly, the sleepy bags under your eyes, spitup on your shirt and your unwashed, messy hair. You are mom and you are beautiful.

3. Postpartum contractions!?

    This one caught me by surprise! There I was laying in bed, nursing my brand new, 30 minute old baby and I started having contractions again! I may have freaked out a little and told my midwife I thought another baby was on the way. She assured me this was normal and I wasn't having another baby. Everytime I nursed for the first 2 or 3 days postpartum, I'd have those contractions. 

    The postpartum contractions are worse after your second baby! I had given birth to Harper and remember to expect those sneaky postpartum contractions, but I wasn't expecting them to be so strong!! Makes me a little anxious for the PP contractions after the next baby if we are blessed with a 3rd. 

4. Pooping after childbirth is terrifying!

    'Nuff said.

5. Breastfeeding is natural, but not easy.

    I could go on and on, but I'll keep this brief. Breastfeeding is absolutely natural, that does not make it easy! Baby has never done this before. Mom may have, but a first time mom hasn't. There is a lot of learning to be done by both the mom and baby. Ask for help! Learn about breastfeeding beforehand. Trust your body. Don't give up! I promise it does get easier! I promise it is so worth it! 

6. Meal Prep!

    Pinterest is full of tons of ideas for meals to prep, cook and/or freeze before giving birth. You have probably pinned or shared those meals. If you are like me, you probably will not make any of them. Again, if you are like me, you will wish you had!! Especially with baby #2. The first baby isn't so bad. Newborns sleep all...the..time.. but with baby #2, not only do you have to feed yourself and husband, you have a child running around the place saying she's hungry. And being her mother, it is your job to feed her even though you gave birth 3 days ago. Enter- pre prepped meals!!!! For sure doing this next time! (Although probably not..and again, I'll regret not doing it.) 

7. You are not balding.

     Fast forward 3-4 months post partum. You're taking a nice warm shower and start pulling out clumps of hair. Fear not!! This..is...normal... this is post partum hair loss. Remember how gorgeous your hair was during pregnancy? So healthy and shiny!! You can thank pregnancy hormones for that. And you can thank hormones for the PP hair loss as well.  

8. Phantom kicks!

    Most of us know that phantom kicks happen, but did you know they seriously feel like real kicks!? Some studies suggest it is a muscle/nerve memory. Some suggest it is because you are more in touch with your body and are more sensitive to movement. Whatever it is, these phantom kicks can feel very real and can last YEARS after birth! Of course if you ever suspect you are indeed pregnant and feeling kicks, take a test or see a doctor.

9. You may surprise yourself.
  I never expected that I'd be the mom who posts all about pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. i never expected to co sleep or breastfeed past a year. I never really thought I'd cloth diaper and like it!! I thought we would do the cry it out method, start baby cereal at 4 months. I thought my kids would be in their own rooms by 3 months old and sleeping through the night by 4 months. I also thought I had control over that. Hahaha nope!!  Here I am, the opposite of what I thought! I am *that* mom. I'm the mom who will drive you nuts sharing attachment parenting articles! I'm the mom who used to say you should always cover to nurse, but now I share breastdeeding pics. I'm the opposite that ai thought I would be as a parent. You may not know your parenting style until you become a parent.

What are some things you experienced after birth that you didn't expect? A while back, I asked some friends the same question. Here were some respothat you'll have to massage your uterus, c sections are much quicker than expected, you will feel beautiful, things may not go as planned, and I'm sure there were more!

Sleeping Beauties

     Oooh sweet social media. What you see here are my 2 darling daughters peacefully sleeping their crankies out. 😊 Sometimes one stirs so I peek in and see them still soundly sleeping. Sometimes one whimpers so I sneak in beside her and nurse her back into her dreams. Sometimes one rolls over because she wants her space while she sleeps or she puts her arm over sissy to make sure she is still there... aaaah the sometimes are so picture perfect. :) the sometimes are what I post on Facebook because they are too sweet not to share!! But then there is what usually happens... the reality..
     Usually, it is a 2 hour war to get them to sleep. Usually, I will have one on the verge of catching some Z's and the other doesn't hesitate to take that as an opportunity to wake her back up. Usually, the whole family has to lay down until Maddie is asleep, and then we have to be very careful when we try to squeeze out of bed! Because usually, one will wake up and in turn..... wake up her sister. Usually, there are tears, fits, cuddles and stress that lead up to naptime. And of course, when we have been successful at achieving a nap, we have a social media worthy picture of how blissful, flawless and wonderful naptime is in our house.

A Mother's Love

     Cliche? Yes. But with good reason! When I became a mommy, from the very moment that little stick told me there was a baby growing inside me, I felt a love that was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was/ is so unique and so different!
     When I think about how I love Madeline and our baby on the way, I feel like no one really can understand the depths of my love. I know! So arrogant, right? It's just this pure, 100% genuine, completely natural and unconditional love. And no matter how much I loved them when we first met and no matter how much I love them right now, every single day I love them that much more! If you're a parent, you totally know what I mean!
     That being said... When I think about how much I love my children, I feel like it's so unique that no one else can love someone the way I love them. And then I think about Alex. When he's playing with Maddie, teaching her something new or when he just randomly tells me how beautiful or smart she is, I'm reminded that he loves her just like I do! When he kisses my belly and talks to our little baby, I'm reminded that he loves this little one just like I do! And each time I'm reminded of his love for our children, I fall even more in love with him! Again, I know it's so cliche!
     Another thing of this unique motherly love that gets me all teary eyed is that when Maddie does something that reminds me of myself. I realize that this is how MY mom loves ME! And that makes my heart smile! Last, but certainly not least.....
     When I think about the love of a parent and how unconditional it is and how strong it is, I can't help but think about God's love toward us. I love my babies more than life itself and it's impossible to think that someone could love them more than I do, but to think of how God must love us, it must be so incredibly unique and unconditional. Love is just so incredible to think about.

We Need This

       Oh you know.. Just me casually coming back to this old blog.. I'm so bad at staying consistent and up to date! As you can tell.... Being as my last post was in August!!! Back when Maddie was 7 months old and just starting to cruise around furniture. Now she's almost 14 months old and a toddler.. in every sense of the word. Oh my, where has time gone!?

      Breastfeeding has NOT been easy these last few weeks. There have been many nights when I just want to quit, but I know she needs me to nurse her. Neither of us are ready to wean. Night time is the worst,  but when she smiles up at me, it makes me so glad that we haven't given up.
     She hasn't given up despite my changing milk and dropping supply and I haven't given up despite the pain and hard nights. We both still need this bond and comfort. We both still need the time set aside to nurse throughout the day. The time where we take a break from our busy lives and reconnect  (because trust me, she has a VERY busy life!). We both still need the closeness and warm smiles that are exchanged. We both still need the night time cuddles as we doze off to sleep. We both still need this special time together, the last few months of her being an only child. Because soon she's going to be sharing her mommy and I'm going to be dividing my attention between 2 babies. It won't be just us anymore. So for now, we will struggle through with no end in sight and we'll cherish this time together while anxiously awaiting our new little blessing. <3

I Almost Quit Breastfeeding

     I almost quit breastfeeding. Those first weeks were hard enough as it was with the lack of sleep, a new baby, Alex working so much over time.... it was overwhelming to say the least. Add to this loads of pain when all I wanted to do was feed my baby! It was awful. A few nights Alex woke up to me crying because it just hurt so bad.
     One night in particular, Alex was so desperate to help me! We had some pacifiers that were given to us so he grabbed a few different ones, went to the kitchen, washed them, and we tried to trick our newborn baby to sleep. :( Yes. I know! It's awful! We were so desperate! Well... She didn't take the pacifier anyways.
     We had an emergency box of formula "just in case" we needed it. I was so tempted to use it! I didn't want to breastfeed anymore! I didn't think it was worth it! I didn't know how much my baby was getting to eat, people were telling me she ate so often because I didn't make enough milk, I was asked how small breasts can hold enough milk to make sure baby was full, I was told to use a little formula because eventually we would have to use it... I didn't have much support here as it was. So the pain of it just made me want to quit! Oh heavens that formula was sooo tempting! But I decided to help her try to latch on one more time. This time. She got a good latch! She fell asleep in minutes and it was good night for mommy!
     The next day I talked to my sister in law. She gave me sooo so many tips on helping with the pain. Over the next few days I would alternate feeding Madeline at the breast and spoon feeding her pumped milk. We invested a few dollars in a nipple shield. *Moms-to-be if you have not heard of this, you are missing out! This was a serious life saver!* We used the shield for about a month. Maybe less. One day after about a month, I realized it didn't hurt anymore and we weaned her off the shield! Seven months later, Madeline has never had formula!
     It was a rough ride. I went from dreading when the hour ticked by and my newborn would want to nurse, to where we are now! Breastfeeding is more than feeding my hungry baby. It's a wonderful bonding experience. Sometimes I wish others could feed her, but honestly, I love that I get to take time out of my day (oh heavens, I'm all teary eyed now) where it's just Maddie and me. I love that when she is upset I can often comfort her at my breast. I love that when I am frustrated with her and she decides to nurse that all the frustration goes away. The way her lashes fall on her cheek as we nurse to sleep melts my heart. The way she caresses my face while she is nursing, is just too sweet. I love the feeling that my body is doing what it was made to do. I love knowing that I am giving my daughter the best possible nutrition she could receive. I can go on and on about why I love breastfeeding. To sum it up, those first few weeks were totally worth it, and I would do it all over again.

Two Pink Lines

     Two pink lines and now we're here! Yes, Madeline is 7 months old, but our journey didn't begin 7 months ago. Our journey in parenthood began the moment Alex picked up the phone with a flustered, "What!? I am about to clock in to work!" I don't know what was running through his mind when he picked up the phone. Maybe he was worried something happened, maybe he was in a rush and didn't want to clock in late. Whatever it was, the moment I told him I was pregnant, our world stood still and so began our journey! 

    Looking back on our 41 weeks of pregnancy, we went through everything every young, newly married couple with a baby on the way goes through. We stressed over how we would afford diapers while we were still getting on our feet as a married couple. With every passing week I asked, "Am I showing yet?" Together, Alex and I counted down the days to the start of the second trimester. We teared up when we heard our baby's heartbeat (okay, Alex straight up cried, but you didn't hear that from me)! We both wanted a girl, but we would be happy no matter what, "as long as baby was healthy." Would we circumcise if we had a boy? What about names? Who will be in the delivery room? SO many questions!! And one subject that was never a question  between us was whether or not I was going to breastfeed. 

     The first time I was asked if I was going to breastfeed was at the WIC office. "Are you going to breastfeed?" Alex and I looked at each other like, "Of course! How else is the baby going to eat?" and we answered with a hearty "Yes." To me, it was strange that it was even a question. I never knew that moms planned on using formula and didn't at least try to breastfeed. Apparently I was behind on the times! 

     Welcome to present day! I have educated myself and become (at least somewhat) knowledgeable of the subject of breastfeeding. I don't know everything (yeah, I'm 20 now! I no longer know everything! ha!), but I would love to see a world where breastfeeding is no longer a question of the matter. I want to see formula sales plummet and it only used for emergencies or when absolutely necessary. I want "breastfeeding" to just be called "feeding." I want to share my journey of motherhood and breastfeeding with you! Welcome to "The Essence of Motherhood."