Sleeping Beauties

     Oooh sweet social media. What you see here are my 2 darling daughters peacefully sleeping their crankies out. 😊 Sometimes one stirs so I peek in and see them still soundly sleeping. Sometimes one whimpers so I sneak in beside her and nurse her back into her dreams. Sometimes one rolls over because she wants her space while she sleeps or she puts her arm over sissy to make sure she is still there... aaaah the sometimes are so picture perfect. :) the sometimes are what I post on Facebook because they are too sweet not to share!! But then there is what usually happens... the reality..
     Usually, it is a 2 hour war to get them to sleep. Usually, I will have one on the verge of catching some Z's and the other doesn't hesitate to take that as an opportunity to wake her back up. Usually, the whole family has to lay down until Maddie is asleep, and then we have to be very careful when we try to squeeze out of bed! Because usually, one will wake up and in turn..... wake up her sister. Usually, there are tears, fits, cuddles and stress that lead up to naptime. And of course, when we have been successful at achieving a nap, we have a social media worthy picture of how blissful, flawless and wonderful naptime is in our house.

A Mother's Love

     Cliche? Yes. But with good reason! When I became a mommy, from the very moment that little stick told me there was a baby growing inside me, I felt a love that was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was/ is so unique and so different!
     When I think about how I love Madeline and our baby on the way, I feel like no one really can understand the depths of my love. I know! So arrogant, right? It's just this pure, 100% genuine, completely natural and unconditional love. And no matter how much I loved them when we first met and no matter how much I love them right now, every single day I love them that much more! If you're a parent, you totally know what I mean!
     That being said... When I think about how much I love my children, I feel like it's so unique that no one else can love someone the way I love them. And then I think about Alex. When he's playing with Maddie, teaching her something new or when he just randomly tells me how beautiful or smart she is, I'm reminded that he loves her just like I do! When he kisses my belly and talks to our little baby, I'm reminded that he loves this little one just like I do! And each time I'm reminded of his love for our children, I fall even more in love with him! Again, I know it's so cliche!
     Another thing of this unique motherly love that gets me all teary eyed is that when Maddie does something that reminds me of myself. I realize that this is how MY mom loves ME! And that makes my heart smile! Last, but certainly not least.....
     When I think about the love of a parent and how unconditional it is and how strong it is, I can't help but think about God's love toward us. I love my babies more than life itself and it's impossible to think that someone could love them more than I do, but to think of how God must love us, it must be so incredibly unique and unconditional. Love is just so incredible to think about.

We Need This

       Oh you know.. Just me casually coming back to this old blog.. I'm so bad at staying consistent and up to date! As you can tell.... Being as my last post was in August!!! Back when Maddie was 7 months old and just starting to cruise around furniture. Now she's almost 14 months old and a toddler.. in every sense of the word. Oh my, where has time gone!?

      Breastfeeding has NOT been easy these last few weeks. There have been many nights when I just want to quit, but I know she needs me to nurse her. Neither of us are ready to wean. Night time is the worst,  but when she smiles up at me, it makes me so glad that we haven't given up.
     She hasn't given up despite my changing milk and dropping supply and I haven't given up despite the pain and hard nights. We both still need this bond and comfort. We both still need the time set aside to nurse throughout the day. The time where we take a break from our busy lives and reconnect  (because trust me, she has a VERY busy life!). We both still need the closeness and warm smiles that are exchanged. We both still need the night time cuddles as we doze off to sleep. We both still need this special time together, the last few months of her being an only child. Because soon she's going to be sharing her mommy and I'm going to be dividing my attention between 2 babies. It won't be just us anymore. So for now, we will struggle through with no end in sight and we'll cherish this time together while anxiously awaiting our new little blessing. <3